Life

I got sick this week which caused us to miss school on Wednesday. Maggie was very disappointed. When we got ready to go (I tried to go to work), she asked for a snack to eat on the way to school. I told her uh, actually we're not going to school. She said ok. Then a few minutes later she asked, "Who told you there was no school today?" I said well actually mommy just doesn't feel good and she said ok. But she told me she was sad and she liked school and wanted to see her friends. I felt like an awesome mom. Or, you know, not.

For me, the most important thing about school is the relationships she has with the other kids. I want her to be able to have consistent friendships from the get go. And it's the first time she's ever told me how much she likes her school. So that was nice to know.

Later when I was really getting sick, I was doubled over in pain and she ran and got me a blanket and said, I'll take care of you Mommy. So sweet.

This week while working on Valentine's, Maggie got upset about something. I can't remember what but I told her I would talk to her when she calmed down and she got really angry and grabbed a piece of paper and her marker and put a bunch of x's on it and said these x's are for you. And then drew a stick figure with a frowny face, also for me. I get the frowny face but where did the x thing come from.

Later she saw the paper when she was calm and got this sad look on her face. She said, Mommy, I'm so sorry I was mean to you. She's so sweet.

Last night after reading her her nighttime story, I told her I loved her and that she was wonderful with a kind and loving heart. She told me, "Mommy, the inside of my heart is red and that's the good part. But there's a little part that's pink, that's the part of me that's bad." :(  I told her that all of her was good and that she could make bad choices but she would always be a good person. I also told her that no matter what she did I would always love her.

After that she asked me if I was going to have another baby. I told her maybe someday. She said I don't know where the baby would go. So I told her if I had another baby I would first have to get married and we would have to move. It was a very odd conversation.

She's also been very curious about death recently. She asked me I was going to die. I told her yes but hopefully it wouldn't be for a very long time. I also tried to talk to her about ways you can be healthy and safe. I know it scares her. She wanted to know who would take care of her if I died. She tells me she would be so sad. :(  Poor baby.