June

 It's a no go on the supplements. Like everything else, it made things worse and worse. I was up so much last night. I woke up staring at my window, my walls, my door. I woke up standing at my dresser, doing something, because I touched Buddy and he meowed at me. I feel fairly certain at this point, there is no cure or help for the sleep thing. My best bet is making my environment safe and dark and quiet. 

I had my consultation with the sleep person. She ordered a sleep study. She seemed very excited to see my results. She said she rarely sees people like me so I guess I'm more interesting than other patients. She was very nice. I also saw my PCP and she wants me to see a neurologist now. It's really hard. I guess I've never really had anything as scary as this and it's a lot. Every time I talk about it, I end up crying. I'm trying really hard to throw myself into the things I can control and I am, but it's still so scary. Even once I start having symptoms of the neurodegenerative disorders, I could have many years where I'm mostly fine. Ruby's 8 and Maggie's 15 so I just need to be okay until my kids are older. And that should be totally fine.