Savannah

I put Sav down. 

She's always been an off dog. She is not friendly, she can be quite aggressive. She barks like crazy and tore up my front hallway because people would deliver stuff. I can't really have people over because she's crazy but it's a pandemic so no big deal. 

I took her to the vet a few weeks ago and she had a mass in her belly. They said it was 50/50 cancer. I scheduled her surgery. But since then she's gotten increasingly aggressive. She doesn't like anyone but me. She doesn't hurt my kids or my cats (she has bitten Millie at least twice to bleeding) because she loves me. Maggie tells me to get rid of her and I say there is no getting rid of her; If she can't stay with us, she'll have to be put down. No one is going to take an aggressive, 90 pound, crazy dog. 

She had started growling and snapping at Maggie if she moved her feet under the blanket. Maggie was increasingly scared of her and would lock her out. 

Monday morning I got up and went to the bathroom. Sav was in there with me (like always) and a cat came in and rubbed up against her and Sav full on attacked her. I immediately reached over to stop her and she turned on me. She bit my arm and was coming back at me. I had to stand up and scream and then it was like she woke up. She ran out of the bathroom and laid down in her I'm sorry stance. My first thought was if she ever does that again, I'll have to put her down. But then I imagined if I hadn't been, she would have killed the cat. What if she attacked a cat and Maggie was there. No matter what I've told Maggie about never getting in the middle of a dog fight, she would try to protect the cat. And what would happen if Sav came at her. Sav outweighs her by 30 pounds. 

As I sat there and thought and thought, I realized she was too dangerous to keep. The thing about it is I know everyone hates Sav. Truly everyone who comes in contact with her, doesn't like her. But I love her. And she loved me. She loved me so much. She followed me everywhere in the house and used her nose to put my hand on her head. And if she could attack me, what else was possible?

I'm not writing anything else about it because I just can't. My heart is broken that this happened. I loved her so much and it wasn't her fault, you know. Someone abused her and made her crazy. But she loved and trusted me. I have cried myself to sleep the past three nights. This is the worst ever.